CAUTION - This blog is a TRRB Entry.

Caution - This Blog is a TRRB entry.

TRB = Totally Rhetorical and Random Blog.  

I have a couple of things on my mind today, and since I was unable to remain focused on only one - I am writing about both in condensed versions.  Lots of questions from me, no need to answer them -- not sure there ARE any answers.

First up:  HOMECOMING ROYALTY.  

I don't get it.  Why does this practice continue?  For that matter, how did it get started?  The parading around of the beautiful few who are candidates, followed by a vote of the student body in order to choose The One.  The purpose of which is what?  So that 4 (maybe 6) teenagers in the entire school (the duke/duchess, prince/princess, and king/queen) can have their few moments of glory?

Ew.

What about all the other students who are JUST as important, but don't get the votes?  The message that seems to be broadcasted is one of "look who is popular" and "so sorry you aren't".  In our public school arena where we are CONSTANTLY bombarded with how FEELINGS matter, why don't we take into consideration the feelings of those not chosen?  

What about the instances when the candidates are included as a twisted inside joke put on by the student body?  That has made the news more than once, even as recently as this month.  Hasn't the coronation process had its day in glory so we can move on now?

Now, before you think that I have some sour grapes, I want the record to show that I was part of the homecoming royalty in my high school.  It was stupid then, and it remains stupid now.  Even then, I felt badly for the ones who were not selected.  The whole process seemed hurtful and like a popularity parade.

I have asked the local administration why we continue the practice, and the reply was that there are parents out there who want it.  Along with, "it is a tradition".  Well, I have not yet found ANY parents who want it to continue.  Granted, I tend to hang with people of similar mind, so my polling group is skewed.  And, as far as the "tradition" thing?  Well, many things were a tradition (i.e.: slavery, hazing, pep club, senior skip day) until someone said "no more".  

If we can't do away with the royalty thing, then let's change the requirements.  Make it service oriented as opposed to self-glorification.  The current requirement locally is that the student be involved in at least one activity in the school.  How about we change that to the student must be involved in one COMMUNITY SERVICE focused activity?  Or has to have recorded a certain number of service hours for a charity.  Wouldn't it be fun to see the youth who serve our community receive the honor?  Or, to hear someone say, "I have to serve in the community so I can run for Homecoming Court."  Now, that would be a new twist!

And my next rant….

Feeding the Teenager - Confusion/Frustration/Any Suggestions?

Kids and Food choices are a constant struggle for parents.  We want them to make healthy choices.  They want to eat junk.  The marketing is in their favor…. from fast food giants to all the pre-packaged fun-looking-not-real-food choices that are paraded in front of our kids every minute of the day via our media.  Parents have to educate not only themselves, but then fight the battle against the norm to get their kids to make healthy choices.

When they are little, the picky eater refuses to eat what is put in front of them.  But, the parent remains in control by what they can offer.  A two-year-old isn't going to be at a sporting event, or drive themselves to the store where all sorts of other food options abound.  The choices for the toddler are limited to what the parent offers.  

But the teenager?  UGH!!  They get to make their own choices.  And, they are no longer under the control of mom and dad when it comes to many things - food included.  They are at the game, hanging with friends, at work, at school, all sorts of places where an insane list of choices for food present opportunities for bad choices.

It makes me yearn for that picky toddler who wouldn't eat his vegetables at lunch, but would happily snack on them later for a snack.  

What do we do as parents with all the food choices for our kids?  And it isn't just the food pyramid any more.  Paleo?  Gluten free?  Vegetarian?  Vegan?  High Fat Low Carb?  It makes my head spin.  And, the recommendations by the "experts" add to the confusion (the food pyramid/plate).  What is suggested as healthy in one study is disproven in another study.  Add into the mix the array chemicals, the GMOs and the organic vs. not organic choices, and a person could lose their appetite!

Nobody wants their kids to be unhealthy.  Or fat.  The health consequences and social stigma are a significant deterent.  But, nobody wants someone else telling us what to feed our kids, either.  I know I don't want that.  I want to educate myself and make my own decisions based on what I have learned.  (and what I have learned could fill another entire blog!)  

But, back to getting our teenagers to follow the requests we make.  I have three teenagers.  My hubby and I have gone through a weight-loss and are in an ongoing weight "maintenance".  I have learned more about different calories, the types of foods, and how the body processes them than I ever thought I would want (or need) to know.  And, now I want to share that info with my teenagers so that they don't end up at their adult life where I was -- with a bunch of weight to remove.

Alas, how do I speak their language?  If I make suggestions, they are offended.  If I try to have healthy choices in the pantry, they can just as easily go out and purchase their own.  (I find the wrappers later!)  If I comment about their choices, I get the sigh-eye-roll.  I don't want to scar their mental health by giving them a complex on their weight…. but, I do want to be sure they understand the consequences of their choices.  I provide information (online and printed) about how food choices impact a person's mood, a person's skin, and even their longevity.  They don't seem to care.

I'm not talking about the occasional treat.  I'm talking about the desire on their part to have a daily intake of what is not in their best interest.  The natural desire for a teen to make their own choices is good.  I want them to grow into adults who can think on their own.  But, I also want them to make informed choices.  It is a delicate balance to achieve.  Keeping them informed without creating any damage.  How do you get your teenagers to make healthy food choices?  I always welcome suggestions.

Random blogging now complete.  :-)  Thanks for reading.  

Do you have the right GENES for back-to-school??

Yes, I spelled that right.  GENES.  Ever find yourself asking the question: "How can the same gene pool produce such different offspring?"  My hubby and I ask each other this often.  Our kids are as different in how they approach life as sweet is to sour.  Yet, I know they are all ours, (I have the stretch marks to prove it!) and I love the differences in them.  This has been back-to-school week at our house.   My children each approach their back-to-school adventures in very different manners.  I marvel at how each of my offspring can be so similar and yet so very different with how they approach this rite of passage.  Same end goal, same gene pool - much different approaches!

My oldest is very linear.  He has a plan in place, and a method behind his plan.  His plan has been thought out from start to finish, and he really does not want to deviate from the plan in his head.  He went back to his second year of college this fall, and was excited to go.  But, you would never know that from any emotion showing.  He holds his cards very close to his chest.

He prepared by ordering the books he needed, and making sure all his clothes were clean and packed.  He didn't take any unnecessary items.  He even had the number of hangars counted out to match exactly the number of items that would hang.  There was a scheduled time to leave, and a plan for when we arrived.  Everything went according to his plan, and there were only minimal surprises.  He has his school schedule planned out, and knows what classes will happen when for several of the next semesters.  (unless he gets crazy and changes majors - ha!)  His social life is directed on his own terms which may include some time out doing activities, but then he is done with people and would prefer to have some time alone.

My middle child prefers to delegate what needs to happen to others for them to do.  She also keeps her emotions fairly closed, but will open up with a little prodding and some time.  She is very able to see what needs to be accomplished, but excels at assigning tasks to those around her that are willing to do what she tells them to do.  She is happy when she is in charge (aren't we all?).  Her plans tend to be a little more vague than her older sibling's, but she still has them.  She approaches school like a job, it has to be done - and she manages her time/energy very well in order to be successful with the task.  Her plans also tend to "evolve" as they play out.  Her getting ready for school focuses on sleeping as long as possible with as minimal prep time as necessary to get out the door.  She likes to be social with a very select group of people, but will interrupt her original plan to make time for a social change.

My baby?  This one loves to express herself.  In everything.  Rarely do we have to wonder what she is thinking.  She lets us know.  From the choices of her activities to her make up, to her clothing.  All various expressions for every emotion she experiences.  She began preparing for school nearly as soon as summer started.  Not because she loves school, but because she LOVES to shop.  She plans her outfits days in advance.  Sometimes weeks!  She may not have any idea when her assignment is due, or even where it is at the moment, but she can tell you which fabric choice works best with another and why.  Her social group is large and varied with friends in every "group" at school.  She dreads the organized structure of the school day, but LOVES the social aspect.  Her plans happen in a moment's notice, and can change in the next breath.  

The silly part of all of this?  They are all doing well and are happy.  I love each of them like crazy, and they also all make me want to scream on a regular basis.  Even though they like to say they are "breaking the chain" from the craziness of our family -- I think their gene pool is serving them well so far. Here's to a fantastic start to a new school year - regardless of how your genes fit!

MOMENTARY GLIMPSES OF HOPE

Last week I had the opportunity to go to a conference in Dallas.  The conference was from Sunday evening to Saturday noon, and while it was AMAZING - it was "heads down" busy for the entire time.  That left very little opportunity to check in with the family.  For the first time since we became parents, my darling hubby was the solo parent with all three kids at home for a week.

And, the kids stepped up.  They helped their dad, and kept the house running smoothly.  He did have to, um, "remind" them a few times to pitch in and help - but, they did it.  All of it.  They even had a cook-out for the neighborhood in the back yard that dad and the kids planned and executed all without my guidance.  

It is refreshing!  Hubby and I are seeing more frequent glimpses of hope from our children as they are maturing.  All three of them are teenagers - with all the teenage baggage that goes along with it.  But, in the bigger picture, they are pretty good kids.  They don't always make the perfect choices, and there are still plenty of "learning opportunities", but overall….I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We're starting to turn a corner from my hubby and I having to be the parent all the time to starting to become more of a friend.

I see parents of young children trying to be their children's friend much too soon.  RESIST THE URGE!  The time is not right… you have to be the parent.  They already have plenty of friends.  They need a parent.  Someone willing to be mean - and by that I mean "you MEAN what you say".  But, the persistence pays off. They will learn to do what you tell them, and follow instructions, and be good humans ready to contribute to society.  Someday.

My kids and hubby were happy to have me return, but I can see that it made them all walk a little taller knowing that they could handle running the house without me directing it all the time.  It might not have been exactly the way mom would have done it, but it worked for them and no one was injured.  No damage done.

This week I'm seeing my kids in action at our church's Vacation Bible School.  They are all old enough now that they are the teachers/leaders/helpers - not the ones attending, but the ones making a difference in lives of others.  Those younger than them.  And, they are having a BLAST!  What a cool feeling as a parent to see, that at least for a momentary glimpse, there is hope.  I love those moments of feeling like they get it - they were listening, they learned from my teaching.

And, then I have to ignore the fact that they may bicker as soon as they get home again and that they just left all their stuff laying all over the floor.  That's a lesson for later.  Just enjoy the moment as it happens.

ESCAPE to Grandma's!!

Summertime.  The schedule around here changes.  Things become a little more relaxed as a few things drop off the calendar for a season.

It is refreshing to have the schedule change.  I find myself starting to look forward to the activities of the fall as summer winds down, but for now I enjoy the relaxed pace and freedom my kids can enjoy.

Both of my daughters took a close friend and went to spend a week in Kearney with their grandmothers.  Both mine and my husband's mothers live there - nearly walking distance apart.  Ok, a long walk, but it can be done.  My mom is 84 and hubby's mom is 71.  They are each living alone, and I think (hope!) that they enjoy having the girls come visit as much as the girls enjoy going.

The girls take their friend and go for a week.  It is a week of total freedom for them.  They spend time doing whatever they want, whenever they want.  I know that my mom has a list in place of things that she wants help with around the house…. mostly getting rid of weeds, or adding paint.  The girls do a bit of work and then get to play for the rest of the day.  Not a bad trade off at all!  I'm pretty sure that the whole goal is to eat as much junk food as they can possibly consume and stay up late watching movies.  No one to tell them they HAVE to go to bed.

My youngest went first just shortly after school was out for the summer.  She and her friend  had spent hours getting plans in place.  They did some cooking, and a LOT of shopping.  

My older daughter just got home from her week away with her friend.  They had a terrific time as well.  Being older she got the opportunity to DRIVE while she was there.  It makes my heart happy, though, to hear her report that as nice as it was to have access to grandma's Cadillac or grandma's Lincoln she was ready to drive her truck again.  

I think that the opportunity for the girls to do something away from mom with the safety of a grandma there allows them to grow in ways that they wouldn't otherwise get to experience.  I love it that they get the chance to do this! Those memories will be around forever.

Somebody's Watching Me.....

Trying to decide when to step in and when to sit it out is a decision that all parents face as they traverse this parenting landscape of uncertainties.  "Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you."  (Robert Fulghum)  All of our actions are under constant observation.

We have all heard of "helicopter parents" by now.  Those parents who hover over every part of their children's lives -- always swooping in to the rescue regardless of the age of the child.  NOT a good way to parent.

But, what about those instances when  your child needs your help and you SHOULD step in to assist?  How do we know when we should and when we should not?  What lessons are we teaching in the end?

This past week our household was faced with one of those instances.  My 16-year-old made a very stupid (although very teenage) choice to help some of her friends in band.  How?  Well, she played the recorded test on their behalf because the friends were not able to pass it on their own.  So, first she did hers, then she did the others.  It was cheating.  She saw it as helping her friends with their band stuff.  

They were turned in by another student.  (There is another blog topic - to snitch or not!)  And, my prayer has been that if my children are doing bad things that they be caught.  So, my hubby and I received a phone call from the school in regards to this matter.  We were told that our daughter would have to come in and redo her test.  Um, not a problem since she could do it the first time.  But, this time she would receive only partial credit for the work.  Ooookay.  I agree that she needs to have a consequence for her bad choice - now, what does she need to do in order to bring her grade back up.  (She is currently sitting at a "100%", and this would drop her grade quite a bit).

The teacher told my daughter and the other two girls that they could salvage their grades by coming in and serving time.  A total of 5 hours of time.  Since my daughter works after school, her option was to come in at 6:30 in the morning each day for the following week.  

Now, I have to clarify that she also had to make up an hour for band because she had to miss a contest on a Saturday when the TEACHERS decided that she should attend the speech meet as opposed to attend the band contest.  Still scratching my head on that one, too…. she had to make up the time because she was told to go to the non-graded event as opposed to the graded (band) event.  Both are school activities.  Had it gone the other way, there would have been no make-up time involved.  But, I digress.

So, my daughter spent the week going in early to work her penance for her bad choice.  She was in the band room by 6:30 each morning.  All three of the girls were, actually.  They each went to their own practice rooms, and spent the time practicing.  I don't know how much actual practice time happened, but they were in "solitaire" for an hour and a half.

The girls were then told that they would also need to attend a "game band".  Not a huge deal, but the game band that was available was from 7 at night for a district basketball game out of town, and they would not return until 11:30 that night.  AND, still need to be at school the next morning early.  Um, ok.  NOT real cool with this, but she will get her grade back up, and she will be receiving the punishment for her foolish choice.

Then, yesterday we got another phone call from the teacher.  It had been decided that the grades would NOT be brought back up.  That the best my daughter would be able to get would be not the 80% she had been promised, but it would now only reach a 60 or 65 percent.  My husband was who took the call since I was in another meeting.  Darling hubby asked the band teacher who made that decision, so that a discussion could be had.  He was told that it was administration.  The next stop was a trip to the school office for my hubby.

He asked to meet with the principal.  Once they were together in the room, the principal went over the importance of each child doing their own work, and then being graded on the work that they have done.  That helping others with their work isn't allowed.  My husband agreed with this statement, and said that he was glad that the principal felt this way because it opened the door to what he wanted to have brought into consideration.

Darling Husband went on to point out that our daughter HAD in fact, done her own work.  She didn't have any help - and was able to complete the required assignment on time, with no problems.  In fact, passed it with an "A".  We were in agreement that her choice to help other students was foolish and needed to be held accountable for that - but, the fact remains that she had done her own work.  By taking her grade away from her, not only for the first "A", but also for the second "A" when she had to replay it, that seems academically unfair.  She had proven multiple times that she was able to do her own work and do it successfully.

The principal was perplexed.  He didn't know how to respond.  He admitted that they had never faced this problem in a "cheating" situation before, and that he would have to take that under consideration and conference with his peers.

We got a phone call later that afternoon telling us that a decision had been made that her grade would be dropped.  Why?  Because they would have to prepare for the possibility that some day someone may come into a math class and do the work for everyone else.   A policy had to be set.

And, the time served in order to bring the grade up?  That won't count for anything.  Sorry.  

What you had been told was not accurate.  

What she had been told was no longer applicable.  Change happens.  

The desire my hubby and I had to throw a tantrum and raise a ruckus was strong.  After all, this was an injustice!  But, in the end we let it go.  Why?  Because our kids were watching.  We approached it from another angle at home.  Another teachable moment.  There will be times in life - more than you want - where what you have been promised isn't what actually happens.  You will have to solve the problem from another angle.  And, that's what we encouraged her to do.  We supported her, and even shared her deep anger.  But, in the end - by keeping our intervening to a minimum it allowed her a growth opportunity.  One that we didn't want to have happen, but a learning experience that she will never forget.  She has since redeemed her grade.  But, the bigger take-away has been the lesson that she has to accept the consequences of her actions even when she has done all she can in order to right the wrong.

She has also learned that mom and dad can (and will) support her as she goes through the tough stuff in life.  And, she has learned that she has the ability to overcome an injustice with grace and humility.  Hopefully that lesson will serve her well as she goes through life.

I LOVE YOU, BUT RIGHT NOW I DON'T LIKE YOU

Ever feel that way?  We're taught from our earliest memories that we are supposed to love other people.  We are to care for them, about them, and with them.

As we age we find out that there are people in this world that are not easy to love.  In fact, some are downright difficult to love even a little.  The people who are mean to you, or to those you love.  The people who are offensive and rude.  And, the people who are so stupid that they don't even know which end of the horse to feed.  All examples of people who can be difficult to love for different reasons.  But, somehow we manage to love 'em.  Or, we at least try to.

We have a whole "circle of love" in our lives.  We fall in love with that special person, and after love comes marriage, and with any luck then follows that baby carriage.  We fall so in love with our children it takes love to a whole new dimension.  A love we had never experienced.  A lay-your-life-down-without-a-thought kind of love.  The kind of love that can bring out the "mama bear" in a person that she may not have even known existed should the child ever be in harms way. The parent loves the child, and the child loves the parent. 

Then those bundles of joy turn into walking-talking-hormone-producing quasi adults that have developed thoughts and opinions of their own.  And, they want to express them.  To you.  Which may cause you to not like them very much.  Oh, don't be confused - you still love them.  You just don't LIKE them for the moment.

My day earlier this week is a wonderful example.  The day had been going smoothly.  My hubby and I were gathering the needed documents to meet with our tax guy.  We had gotten everything found, organized, and even had the meeting.  All had gone well.  I was busily fixing supper when the arrival happens.  In the door comes my child.  By appearances her mood seems to be pleasant - and is confirmed with a quick response of "it was good" to my inquiry of how the day had gone for her.  She is all smiles.

Then, I ask a question that requires a bit of effort and participation on the child's part.  Something will be required of her.  My unruly request?  I asked her to check her phone to see if she had the number of someone that her sister needed to contact.  Her next move is to point out to me how if her sister wants to contact that person, then she should do it -- that SHE wasn't going to do it for her.  THAT was her sister's responsibility.  I responded with a sharp look, and a pointed explanation that her sister would be contacting this person as soon as she had the number required to do so.  Thankyouverymuchandwatchyourattitudewithyourmother!  

My husband was standing in the same room, and also called to my daughter's attention that her tone was unwelcome, and that she should check herself for attitude.  She apologized and left the room with a flounce.

I was instantly irritated and almost went into a tailspin of a foul mood.  I'm happy to report that I was able to redirect my emotions, and came out not being angry.  But, at that moment I didn't like my child.  Not much at all.  I think it is ok to admit it, too.  Let's keep it real, people.

The moms who ooze all over anyone who will listen about how much they love their children and can't stand to be away from them for even a moment make me uneasy.  Can that be real?  Or healthy for that matter? - Give the kid some space!  Give yourself a break!

I think our society puts a whole lot of pressure on us moms to be super-human.  We somehow bought into the twisted notion that the more effort and time we put into our children equals a direct correlation to how much we love them.  And, the more we love our child (and talk about it, demonstrate it, and brag about it) the better we are than any other mom.  Us moms have been fooled into thinking that the BEST moms are the ones who spend every breathing moment fawning over their child.  We are afraid to let them be alone for any length of time, and then use it as bragging rights when we talk about how exhausted we are because of the time spent running after and entertaining our children.  NEVER are we given permission to be upset with them, or to admit that they do things that make us not like them for the moment.

I'm giving us all permission.  It's ok to admit that there are moments in time that no matter how much we love our children - sometimes we don't like them very much.  We don't like their choices or their attitudes, or their behaviors.  I think it helps a child learn how to cope with life to see that humans can love each other, even through moments of not liking one another.  It is good for them to learn that some actions have consequences that may impact them in a negative manner.  When you say hurtful things to others, they don't like you.  When you think of only yourself, and act selfishly, people don't like you.  You aren't expected to be a people pleaser, but you are expected to take the feelings of others into consideration before you act.

The best part of parenting is that each new day (heavens - each new moment) brings a chance for a "do-over" for both the child and the parent.  God provides us with multiple learning opportunities for how to love each other.  With all the new chances we get, the odds are ever in our favor that those moments of not liking them will be much lower.  I am sure that the teenage years skew the average, but I have been assured that it will get better.  After all, my kids have to love me, too.

The BEST Way to Teach Your Child How to Lie

Well, for starters don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answers to.  Don’t set them up to lie to you.  That applies at every age.  Especially now that I have a college-aged child.  Ahem.

But, for myself, I think the ability to lie came with lots of practice.  PRACTICE on the piano.  And, my mom ASKING, “Did you practice”?  ME:  ”Um, yes?”   (a stern look from mom, and back to the piano I go)

All kidding aside, though, music lessons are THE BEST thing you can do for your child. Get them involved in some music!  Pick an instrument.  Any instrument.

We started each of our kids on the piano the summer before they started kindergarten.  Why?  Because that was when I started as a child, and I lived through it.  We looked at piano playing as a “life skill” much like reading or swimming lessons.  It was just something you had to do.

At first the kids really enjoyed it.  They had fun at the piano, and looked forward to learning new things.  Then, things got a bit more difficult.

An hour of practice.  Each day.  That was the rule for me as I was growing up.  And, I hated it – wasn’t gonna do that to my own kids.  So, I dropped it to 30 minutes of practice.  Daily.  Seemed reasonable to me.  And, I wanted it done in the morning before they went to school.  Plan accordingly.  They did, and life kept rolling along fairly smoothly.  They would squawk and complain about having to “do piano”, and I would smile and ignore them, and continue to take them to their lessons.

My son started with teacher “A” who was classically trained.  She LIVED piano, and was extremely organized.  The boy did fine, and the recitals were at the local college on stage with the grand pianos.  VERY impressive.  When my second child got old enough to take lessons, teacher “A” didn’t have an opening, so I moved both of my kids to teacher “B” with back-to-back time slots.  Teacher B was a grandmotherly-type lady who loved piano, and enjoyed teaching it to children.  She had been teaching for years – even had a studio room set up in her home.  Both kids looked forward to seeing her, even though they weren’t too keen on the whole piano practice thing.

When my third child started her lessons, teacher “B” didn’t have an opening for another child, but there was a sweet young lady starting a piano studio also here locally, so we gave her a try.  Teacher “C” was a perfect fit for my third child.  She made lessons fun, and also was able to motivate while keeping her focused.

And, merrily we played along.  Until….

A local news story that I found online talked about a NEW method for learning how to play the piano.  The focus was on learning patterns, and learning to listen to the music NOT just reading the music.  Note reading came later.  I wasn’t overly comfortable with that concept, but my curiosity was strong enough to go to an introductory lesson with my three kids.  I wanted them to be able to sit at the piano and PLAY – not to have to rely totally on a piece of music being in front of them in order to enjoy the instrument.

The first lesson was a success.  ”Simply Music” was a piano method that looked like it was going to fit into our lives very nicely.  The teacher that gave us our first intro was moving, but she was able to help us find someone close to home who was teaching – and so we met her and we were off and running.  Or should I say playing?

I have had people ask me if the Simply Music method was just like Suzuki Piano.  Well, from what I have read about Suzuki (which isn’t a lot) there are many similarities, but also differences.  We have not ever done any type of lesson with the Suzuki method, so I can’t speak for or against.  But, in regards to “Simply Music” – it was great for my kids!  They were playing the piano – and it was fun!  Yes, there was still practicing involved, but the practicing was SONGS – not just scales and methods mixed in with a tedious song that had super simple notes.  They were playing songs they knew, and also getting to create songs of their own.  There was jazz – and rock – and classical – all of it!  You can read more about Simply Music here:  http://www.simplymusic.com

Eventually for various reasons we had to stop the piano lessons.  The more activities that the kids were involved with at school, the less time there was to focus on the piano.  I couldn’t get them to everything – nor could we afford to do it all.  So, after several conversations with friends (and maybe a few tears on my part!) the decision was made to halt the piano lessons.  It was hard for me because I had told the kids from the start that they would take piano lessons until they died or mom said they could quit – and I hadn’t expected my decision to come as soon as it had to.  I knew that with the money that had been spent on piano lessons we could have paid for some fabulous family trips…. to far-away places!  But, I felt that the investment into their musical training was beyond worth it.  I didn’t want it to come to an end.

The end of piano lessons was not the end of music at our home.  Our first-born continued his music appreciation with his trumpet.  Trumpet lessons came into his life.  He played all through high-school, and now plays in college.  Our second-born has her flute that she plays beautifully.  Her passion for playing an instrument isn’t as strong as her brother’s, but she has the ability and the talent.  And we do a weekly flute lesson.  And, our youngest expresses her love for music through the rhythms of the percussion.  She is always tapping out a rhythm on something – in fact she started that before she was even born.  The rule that our school band director employs is that any student that wishes to play percussion is required to have had a minimum of two years of piano prior to starting the drums in band.  She met that requirement and then some.    And now she has her percussion lessons.

I will have to add that because the Simply Music method delayed the note reading our youngest is the weakest at sight reading notes.  She can play chords, and is able to play the piano – but to do sight reading she has to stop and work through it much more than the other two who had had more of the “traditional” piano learning method prior to our switch.  All three of our kids can find music online with the lyrics and the “guitar chords” and then take the piece and play it with just a bit of effort.  It is something that I can’t do – and it makes it very easy for them to practice singing some of the most popular songs on the radio.  They have the ability – and the desire – since it is FUN!  YEA!!  That’s what I wanted them to get out of their music lessons.  A love of it!

As a side note, I also enrolled each of my children into the “Kindermusik” program.  That is a small group setting that focus on music and a bit of movement.  Stories, and games, and learning activities all set to some fun music.  Our Kindermusik teacher (who continues to teach!) is a loving and kind woman with the patience of a saint.  I HIGHLY recommend that avenue to expose your kids to music at an early age.

You can go online and google ‘benefits of music’ and find a long list of reasons why you should get your child involved in some type of music instruction.  I agree with many of those reasons…. music has so many benefits!  (not just teaching them to lie about practice time – ha!)  But, the true treasure for this mother’s heart is now hearing my three children surround the piano to sing and play together.  That is the biggest payoff for me.  And, it was worth EVERY bit of the struggle to get there.