Who is Teaching Whom?

Well, if you are reading this blog post, the end of the world hasn't happened.  Yet.  With Christmas just around the corner, and the horrible events last week, I'm feeling a bit led to be reflective with this post today.

But, what to reflect about?  I'm not an expert on anything.  I don't have any profound answers to the awful events that happen in life.  And, honestly - no one really wants to hear what I have to say, anyway.  In my own humility, I offer up today some of the lessons that my children have taught me as I have been busily trying to instruct them.

FORGIVE.  People that you love are going to screw up.  You are going to get hurt, and you will have to move past it.  My children watch me and hold me accountable.  Daily!  I need a shirt that says "do as I say, not as I do".  They watch me fall from the pedestal over and over, only to keep letting me raise back up.  They love me, and forgive me for my shortcomings.  They forgive me for my harsh words spoken in haste, or my failure to get done what I had said I would do for them.  They have taught me through their forgiveness, that by forgiving it opens the heart up for more love.

BE HONEST.  Even when it is scary to tell the truth because you don't want the consequences.  Honesty is always best.  My children model this for me often.  (and they have been known to tell me not to ask questions that I don't really want the answers to - ha!)  My husband and I hold them to a standard of always telling the truth.  My kids, in turn, help me to realize that it isn't always easy to tell the truth, but it is always the right thing to do.

TAKE RISKS.  Sitting at home and never trying something new creates a very stagnant life.  Be willing to step out and do the new thing.  Be willing to take a risk!  I watch them try new things - new groups, new friends, new classes, learning new things -- all of them a risk.  Watching my kids learn to drive, or leaving the nest for college, or trying a new medium for an art project I see risk takers.  Heavens - even trying a new food can be a risk!  From the time we enter this world we are faced with new experiences daily -- and once we learn to embrace that instead of running and hiding from the risk, we'll learn to enjoy life a lot more.

BE A FRIEND TO MAKE A FRIEND.  Friendships are a cherished part of being human.  Our friends make our lives brighter, and more complete.  In order to have friends, a person has to BE a friend.  People won't come knocking on the door just to be with you until you show them that you care about them.  Friends take care of one another -- and support each other through the insanity that is your own family.  Ha!  I see my children laughing with their friends, and caring DEEPLY for their friends.  Hurting when they hurt, and wanting to help when help is needed.  It takes work, and I admire the effort my kids put into making their friends feel included.

BE PERSISTENT.  Aside from the natural propensity to repeatedly ask for something they want, my children model persistence for me.  They don't give up when something is difficult.  Sure, they may take a break from it - but, they come back to finish.  I watched my son endure some very difficult challenges his first semester of college.  Situations where others would have given up and walked away.  But, he didn't.  He stayed the course and finished strong - even when the odds appeared to be against him.  My daughters both demonstrate how persistent they can be with each other -- in sisterly fashion.  Continually sharing and exchanging the clothes in the closet - and asking over and over to borrow the one item that has been "forbidden" by the other.  (and usually finally getting the chance to use said item - ha!)  I see my kids work through the difficult situations that happen in life, with teachers, friends, or even with self-imposed goals.  Instead of curling up in a deflated ball, and whining about it, my children show me that continuing to press against the obstacle will eventually bring a change.

And, one more to highlight:  ANTICIPATE.  As I write this we are on the cusp of a possible snow storm here in my little town.  Predictions are everywhere for the total amount of snow, when it may start, how long it will last, blah, blah, blah.  These things I tend to push aside as an adult.  But, my kids?  They eagerly anticipate the possibility of snow.  They.  Can't.  Wait!  It adds an energy level to the house that is contagious to see their excitement.  This season brings a level of anticipation anyway with parties, gifts, and surprises.  Plus, there is the anticipation of finishing a semester of school, and getting a short break.  Add to that the joy of some snow -- and you have EXACTLY what every adult should take time to remember.  The simple joy of  looking forward eagerly to an event.  Look around you and pause to simply anticipate the things that make life enjoyable.  Don't get so caught up in the rules, the hassle, and the planning that you miss out on the thrill.

The lessons I learn through my children's eyes.  I hope I never stop learning!